here at My
Hot Wife would like to express our gratitude toward Cuckold Paul
for allowing us to to post what we believe is the definitive cuckold
guide on the Internet. Thanks again Paul!
The Cuckold's and Cuckolder's Guide
by Cuckold Paul
What Is A Cuckold?
word "cuckold" probably comes from the practice of the
cuckoo bird. The female cuckoo mates with an alpha-male, who then
moves on to encounters with other females. The female then returns
to her mate, and the two of them raise the babies which resulted
from mom's "night on the town." Traditionally, a (human)
cuckold was the object of scorn and derision; when it was discovered
that a man's wife had found fulfillment in another man's bed, she
was an adultress and he was her cuckold. It was often said that
he "left with his tail between another man's legs."
dictionary defines a cuckold as "a man with an unfaithful wife."
the context of alternative lifestyles, the cuckold occupies a position
somewhere between the traditional definition and that of "swingers."
The difference with the first definition is that today's cuckold
is both aware of his wife's "infidelity" and is sexually
excited by it; the difference with the second definition is that
"swingers" are mutually involved, or at least approach
the sex bed as equals, which is not the case with a cuckold.
plain English, a cuckold is a man who stands by and accepts his
wife's infidelity, being sexually excited by her actions. He may
have normal sexual relations with his wife part of the time, or
he may accept that his wife has chosen another man to replace him
completely in her sexual bed.
Why Would Someone Choose To Be Cuckolded?
read (and written) extensively on this, I have found the following
themes. Any combination may exist to explain a specific couple's
cuckolded is often a display of total submissiveness, with the added
element being that at least one other person (the lover) knows of
the cuckold's role. Cuckolds may take pleasure in serving their
wife and, in some cases, her lover as well. If a person wishes to
experience submission, bringing breakfast in bed to his wife and
her lover would surely fit the bill; and if he wants to feel dominated
by his wife, having her tell him to leave them alone so they could
make love undisturbed would be almost unbearably exciting! In addition,
the knowledge that she can do whatever she wants with regard to
sex, while he is restricted to only what she approves for him, is
probably the ultimate in submission: he turns over his genitals
to her, while she offers no such commitment in return.
swingers and alternative-lifestyle adherents draw the line at humiliation,
and reject it with disgust. Yet these same people will accept s&m
as understandable! Humiliation is, in my opinion, simply mental
s&m. Why would someone choose to be "disciplined,"
and find it to be sexually exciting? If you can understand that,
you can understand the lure of humiliation as a sexual stimulus.
And if a man seeks to be humiliated, what could be more humiliating
than seeing, or hearing, or learning of his wife choosing another
man to bed? If the experience includes the wife acknowledging that
her lover is better endowed, or a better lover than her husband,
the humiliation is complete.
jealousy is a turn-on for cuckolds. In fact, it is probably one
of the greatest ones, though few cuckolds have written about it.
After all, look what he has lost: his wife's faithfulness, his wife's
body (temporarily, if not permananently), his equality as a sexual
partner, his dignity... and all these have been given to another
man! Personally, when I began to feel jealous, I began to feel truly
cuckolded - and very excited!
I think this is secondary to the two reasons above, it is true that
there are not many opportunities in life to watch two people having
sex. This is why home videos are so popular! But nothing can equal
the real thing, life and in front of you... and so, inviting another
man into your wife's bed will undoubtedly give you a front-row seat
for the festivities.
cuckold explained his excitement as "caused by the duality
of being both afraid and excited. Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac...
maybe my body requires a certain amount of adrenaline, which can
only be generated by fear."
is there to fear? A cuckold can fear (while being turned on by)
the thought of being humiliated in front of his wife and her lover;
he can fear being told he cannot cum for a specified (and lengthy)
period of time. He can fear hearing sounds of pleasure from his
wife that he never heard when she was in bed with him. Or, he can
just fear the unknown...
cuckolds acknowledge that they have no idea why this turns them
on, but for most of us, it is a sexual fantasy of the most overpowering
variety. As I told my wife, I would rather watch her in bed with
her lover than have sex with any woman on the face of the earth!
So, like most sexual fantasy, we may be able to explain elements
of the attraction, but we cannot explain it completely. Many cuckolds
relate that they had no idea this turned them on, until their wife
discussed a good looking man, or related the story of a man making
a pass at her. Suddenly, the husband gets a distinct message from
"another authority," and wonders what the hell is going
on. THAT is a cuckold in the making!
Why Would A Wife Choose To Cuckold Her Husband?
there are women who simply cheat on their husbands, this is not
part of our discussion, as it is not a mutual decision. If you find
out that your wife is cheating on you, don't read this -- get to
a marriage counselor, or a lawyer! Many cuckolds describe years
and years of asking their wife to have sex with another man. Usually,
the wife opposes this, for several reasons. First, it goes against
everything that was promised in the marriage vows, and she cannot
believe that it will do anything but ruin her marriage. Second,
it is often threatening to the wife, as she assumes it is a pretext
for the husband to have sex with other women (if you both want to
do that, have fun; you're back in the "swinger" category,
and this site is not about you). Third, many wives -- especially
once they are out of their 20's and no longer look like Barbie --
worry that no other man will find them attractive, and they do not
want to set themselves up for a disappointment. Finally, they worry
(with good reason) about all the mean, nasty stuff out there: bad
people, bad vibes, bad diseases.
why do wives say yes? While some do it simply because their husbands
are not satisfactory lovers, I believe that most begin (note that
I said begin; the reasons change later) to satisfy their husband's
burning desire to try this. Also, if they had few sexual experiences
before marriage, they may be curious as to what else is out there,
and if their sexual experiences have been somewhat tame, they wonder
what all the talk is about!
the wife begins to see other men, it is another step -- and often,
not an easy one -- to cuckold her husband. After all, she loves
the guy! (If she does not love him, it's time to head for the marriage
counselor or the lawyer again...) It is hard to believe that her
husband really wants her to like her lover more, or at least to
like sex with her lover more; it is even harder to believe that
he really wants to hear that from his wife. Usually, this part begins
very slowly, as the wife hesitatingly relates the pleasurable details
of her tryst to her husband. She notices his outstanding (!) reaction
to what she says, and notices that the more explicit she is, and
the more she talks about her pleasure, the more hubby goes crazy.
If her husband watches her in bed with her lover, she will be very
hesitant to display her pleasure, until he makes it clear that he
is very turned on by it!
why go through all this? In my wife's words, "I can have my
cake and eat it, too." What could be bad for a woman who realizes
that her husband will do everything he can to make sure she has
great sex with her lover, and will welcome her home (often to a
completely cleaned house ) when she is done!
back to the wife's initial worry that no other man could possibly
find her attractive: imagine her surprise and delight when the nice
looking, intelligent guy she meets is very turned on! Seeing him
hard, feeling him get excited as she undresses, as she touches him,
as he touches her... brings her right back to high school, but with
an adult's understanding of what sex is all about. Does absolute
wonders for a woman's ego!
What Is The Difference Between A Cuckold And A Man With
A "Hot Wife"?
you could certainly describe the cuckolder as a "hot wife,"
the difference, IMHO, lies in the original dictionary definition,
"a man with an unfaithful wife." A woman crosses over
the line into "unfaithful" not when she has sex with another
man with her husband's consent, but when she prefers sex with her
lover to sex with her husband -- and tells him so.
bigger than you"
In spite of all the ads in men's magazines, we haven't found a way
to change what God gives us. Few women marry a man because of the
size of his penis, but much has been written about how good it feels
to many women to be "filled completely." So, wifey goes
searching (or the well-behaved cuckold searches for her) for a man
who can measure up. Some women find a large penis to be painful
or uncomfortable, but if she finds the experience to be fulfilling
, hubby must recognize that there is no way on earth that he can
offer her what her lover does. In our society, in which "bigger
is better," it is truly humiliating for a man to see less between
his own legs than he sees on the man between his wife's legs! Not
to mention the conversations with her lover, who tells him how good
his wife feels "deep inside," and then laughs at the fact
that hubby can never, ever know what that feels like. In other words,
this man feels parts of your wife's body that you can never touch
-- so go sit in the corner, and listen to her make me cum with those
places you can't touch!
better than you"
wifey would want this is obvious -- what a surprise, after 5, 10
or 20 years of marriage, to learn that sex is more fun than you
knew! And for cucky, the embarrassment is even greater than if her
lover is bigger: at least if he is bigger, you can claim that there
is nothing you can do about it. But if he is better -- especially
if he is about the same size as cucky, then the plain truth is,
"You are not such a good lover." (Actually, that's the
diplomatic truth; the plain truth is that you're a lousy lover!)
lover -- the man who made her decide to cuckold me permanently --
is almost exactly my size. But when I asked her to give us each
a grade, he got an A+; after making sure that I really wanted to
hear the truth about myself, she said I am a C+. Now, when she and
I make love, she will often sigh and tell me she wishes Ty was inside
her instead. I would be very hurt by this, if I wasn't busy cumming!
is a major difference between a Hot Wife and a cuckolding wife:
Often, I read of husbands fucking their wives before they head out
on a "date." Cuckolds hardly ever get to touch their wives
before a "date," unless it is to clean her, dress her
or apply her makeup! And, of course, this makes sense: if her husband
really isn't much of a lover, then why would she want to ruin the
mood, or take the edge off her anticipation? In my case, about four
days before a "date," Sally stops allowing me to touch
her or even to see her undressed; in her words, "I'm saving
it for him."
more extreme cases, where the wife has replaced her husband with
another man (or men) on a permanent basis, her body may simply be
off limits to him at all times. In these cases, the occasional glimpse
of a breast or pubic hair can trigger spontaneous orgasm!
Up the House While I'm Gone"
the husband acknowledges his sexual inferiority, he may feel compelled
to try to make it up to his wife in any way possible. Therefore,
he may be among the most obedient husbands on the planet! Remember,
hubby gets off on his own sexual failings; therefore, cleaning the
house, etc., only serves to remind him that he's doing this because
he's not very good in bed. This may be one of the few times you
see a man vacuuming with an erection .
in my case, Sally only has to preface any request with, "Hey,
C+...," and I jump to comply!
Want to Have His Baby"
tend to believe that the vast majority of cuckold stories in which
the lover impregnates the wife are fictional, though I could be
wrong. After all, the couple will have to live with that decision
for the rest of their lives. But certainly, if you want to feel
that you have "lost" your wife to another man, having
him impregnate her would probably do that in spades! I do not judge
here, so I mention that a number of cuckolds are very turned on
by finding their wife's birth control sitting on the dresser when
she goes out.
Watching Or Waiting?
is a lot of discussion about which is more erotic: watching your
wife in bed with another man, or waiting at home (or anywhere) while
she goes off with him. Generally, the cuckold has little say in
this; his wife will probably be more comfortable with one than the
other, and that is what she will choose. Seeing sex happen in front
of you, and realizing - over and over again - that the woman you
see in the throes of passion is your wife, is breathtaking. Even
when you engage in sex, you don't get to witness it; seeing a man's
penis slide in and out of a vagina is stimulating enough, but when
it is your own wife's vagina, it is overwhelming. And watching (and
hearing) orgasms... the same thing, in spades!
the other hand, if the mind is the most powerful sex organ, there
is much to be said for the cuckold who sits at home and masturbates,
wondering what his wife and her lover are doing now (and now, and
NOW, and...). If you thought teenage boys jerk off a lot, I assure
you that they are amateurs compared to cucky in the sixth hour of
would say that this has been talked about too much, if it weren't
for how much it turns me (and most every other cuckold) on! Whether
it is submission or humiliation, licking another man's semen from
your wife's pussy is #1 on the hit parade. Why is that? I believe
it is a combination of every male taboo rolled into one:
- Men aren't supposed to eat cum (well, straight men aren't...)
Men are supposed to guard their wives' chastity/purity with their
Ejaculating in a woman is a strong symbol of possession, and seeing
another man's semen in your wife's most private, intimate place
is a clear sign that you are not the sole (or even primary) person
in her life... or at least in her body.
If there is any single thing that "proves" that your wife
was unfaithful, it is the sight of semen dripping from her vagina,
when you know you didn't put it there. Pornographers may be able
to substitute liquid soap in pictures, but when you're face to face
with the real thing, you know it.
The only way for that semen to get in your wife was for her to bring
him to orgasm. A creampie says, "Not only did she cuckold you,
but she did it very well."
Semen does not taste good; if you're lucky, it does not taste terrible.
Licking it up - especially if it is a large amount - is very, very
difficult, and emphasizes the humiliating nature of what your wife
is doing to you.
If you have to do it in front of the lover, while your wife is holding
and kissing him, you will have your "place" made perfectly
clear to all involved - especially if the two of them laugh at your
difficulty swallowing all of it!
all these reasons, most cuckolds find creampies to be among their
most powerful fantasies and most erotic experiences.
A Note About "Slut Wives"
are those men who want their wives to be "sluts"; to sleep
around to be indiscriminate, etc. I've seen very few cuckolds who
express this wish, and I believe it has to do with our absolute
respect for our wives. We don't mind being humiliated, but don't
mess with our wife - that will turn us off faster than anything
at all. So, again, correct me if I am wrong, but I think that very
few cuckolds will ever refer to their wife as a slut (and if they
do, it'll probably be a cold day in hell before they "get any"
with all this good stuff, what's to worry? Plenty! First of all,
the couple had better have a wonderful, positive, open relationship.
You are going to be playing for real here, and both of you have
to be able to say what you are feeling, and to "bail out"
at any point that it becomes unworkable or dangerous. In the words
of one cuckold, "You and your wife must love each other very
much. That love, trust, understanding and willingness to be open
and honest must be there, or neither of you, nor your marriage in
whatever shape it may take, will survive."
is powerful; there's a reason advertisers use it! You cannot expect
your wife to have sex with someone and not develop feelings for
him (unless it is a terrible experience; see below). In fact, cuckolding
is even more dangerous in this regard than "hot wife-ing"
(is there such a phrase?), because the ultimate fantasy of the cuckold
is that she will like her lover more than him! So, take it step
by step. I have corresponded with many couples for whom it was a
powerful fantasy, but as they took the first baby-steps toward making
it real, they realized that they didn't like where it was going.
I applaud them - we've got enough divorces.
are our limits?" is a question which should be asked and asked
again. If you both love each other, and you are doing this to find
a new kind of experience, then you should both be overwhelmed with
concern for how the other is handling it, and whether the latest
step is over the line. Women, there is a nearly-foolproof way to
tell: it's called the Peter Meter! If you talk about actually meeting
a man for the first time, or about going away with him on a cruise
for a week, your husband's cock will tell you whether this is A
Very Good Idea, or moving too fast!
especially, that once the wife has a lover, he does not "go
away" like turning off a VCR. He is real, and his presence
in your lives is real, too. As one cuckold said, "The humiliation
is very real. It doesn't stop after you've jacked off three times.
Her lover is still in the picture." So, folks, this is one
you can't "take back"; you can stop, but you can't undo
what you have done, or what you have said. If hubby doesn't want
to live with the knowledge that his wife's lover is better, or that
she longs to be with him, or that those three extra inches really
do matter to her, then don't start.
I can only give you the one suggestion which I've told Sally from
day one: she has absolute veto power over anything, at any time.
She can get up and walk out of a restaurant, or a hotel room, or
a conversation; she can say she's done seeing someone; she can say
something makes her uncomfortable; and in every case, I'll agree
instantaneously. Once she understood that I really meant that (she
was afraid she'd "disappoint me," but I explained that
it's not my fantasy if she's not enjoying), it gave her the freedom
to test her own limits.
let's be real: the Internet is wonderful, but all the dangers which
apply to kids online apply to grownups, too. People are not always
what they appear to be, and some are downright strange. Talk lots
- lots - before agreeing to meet someone! Start with email, progress
to ICQ or IM, and then talk on the phone. If you're worried about
the other person having caller ID, buy a phone card and call from
a pay phone! We strongly suggest a first-meeting dinner (remember,
cuckolds always pick up the check!), with the absolute understanding
that nothing other than dinner is going to happen that evening.
This gives everyone a chance to meet and talk face-to-face, and
gives wifey the chance to consider whether she wants to share her
bed with this man. Making it a no-touch evening gives her the opportunity
to say yes or no on her own, without him (or hubby) breathing down
as they used to say on Hill Street Blues, "be careful out there."
Cuckolds and cuckolders are usually regular people, with lives,
jobs and children. You don't want your exploits on the front page
of the local paper, do you? We strongly suggest using pseudonyms
and false-everything until you get to know the other person very
well. Hotmail, Yahoo, etc., offer anonymous email, and though we'd
never want to be accused of suggesting anything dishonest, there
isn't anything that actually requires you to tell the truth in signing
up for your Hotmail or Yahoo account! We won't tell, if you won't.
Best Quotes From Cuckolds
a cuckold doesn't sound like something most men would be proud of."
"It is sometimes difficult for [my husband] when he has had
to be sociable with a man he knows that I am sleeping with."
is nothing like the sounds my wife makes when she is in bed with
kids, that's the story! If you're interested in learning more, or
if you want to correspond with a genuine cuckold (either for more
information, or just for laughs), feel free to contact any of the
people listed below. All have given permission to include their
email addresses here.
Comments or Questions? Email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org